Saturday, March 24, 2012

My New "First World" Problem: Clothes Shopping

I need to go clothes shopping. I despise clothes shopping. Yes I know I love shoes and handbags. Those make me gloriously happy. But clothes shopping I hate. I have always hated clothes shopping. And yes, I understand that "HATE" is a strong word.

I remember when I first started commenting during on-line support groups and I used the word "hate," some idiots told me that that is a strong word and I shouldn't use it. Needless to say I not only gave them what for but I left that support group. Why is it that some women think that everyone they talk to is a toddler? Or that everyone they talk to needs to be told what to do and how to do it? It's not a wonder that so many people in the world have no friends IRL. Seriously.....

Anyway I never did enjoy getting dressed up, wearing makeup and making a clothing fuss. Oh I like to look at clothes and even think about clothes. But the actual act of trying on the clothes now that is what gets me annoyed. (Don't even talk about bathing suits.)

Don't worry my aversion to clothes shopping doesn't stop me from appropriate hygiene. I so enjoy manis and pedis. They are not related in anyway shape or form to my distaste for self-painting. I like getting my haircut too. I think it all has to do with the reflex massages they give now. I don't know if these massages really do anything, but I am joyful afterwards.



Honestly, I never felt comfortable in clothes. Clothes never fit me properly, no matter how thin I got or no matter how in shape I was. There was always something very off about my rise, my leg length, the size of my butt in comparison to my boobs. It was always something.

So that is why I have generally lived in sweats and PJs for the last decade. They are comfortable. easy to mix and match and I don't have to worry about nonsensical issues like zippers and waistbands. OK,  yes it has not helped that I have put on about 20 pounds in the last decade too, but honestly that was also not my fault (seriously). The doctors prescribed this crappy medicine for lupus and anxiety that gave me one hell of a fatass.

By the way I have also stopped taking all medicines. Stopped the anxiety meds years before I went on the lupus meds. But the damage was done to my ass. (It turns out that I didn't have "anxiety." I had a B12 deficiency that was causing the depression.) I told them that enough was enough. Every issue you deal with doesn't need a pill and quite frankly every pill you take has some type of side effect that could harm you. The lupus meds could hurt your eye sight. Docs say that it doesn't put on weight, but every support forum I went on said that they all gained weight on that med. Approximately 20 pounds. Interesting... 

Also as my eyes got worse, everyone said it wasn't the meds it was my age..being over 50 your eyesight should devolve. Fine I thought. But guess what? After stopping the meds, I have had to change my script twice for the better. Fucking morons they are and moron me for actually listening to them for so long...Stop listening to doctors about how you should feel and what you should be like depending on your age. You know if something is not right. You know when you are not comfortable. Don't  let anyone tell you that that is life and that you should learn to live with discomfort or a  physical-age-based issue...forget that shit.

So anyway, I still need to go buy an outfit for my nephew's bar mitzvah next Saturday. (Yes I do have an outfit in the closet. But I am actually afraid to try it on. Haven't worn it since I put on this weight and I don't need to be depressed right now.) Cutting it close I know. But I thought I would look for something loose. Something comfortable. Something that can go anywhere. Something that might be able to hide my tuchas too. So we will see what I find.

I have black shoes to wear with it and maybe I can pick up a little coverup to go over it? Did I say I hate clothes shopping?



Meanwhile there is this new handbag for the spring I am dieing to go take a look at....I know what you are thinking. She will get a handbag and no clothes. Probably, perhaps, but not quite certain...but I am leaning that way.



OK the damn bag costs more than my monthly mortgage, but I can dream can't I?


Qi en Pace,


Elise

P.S. Just got back. Bought the black dress not the purse....


2 comments:

  1. OMG...sooooo funny! I HATE clothes shopping (well trying on clothes) too!!! Would much rather go shoe shopping.

    Glad you found an outfit. Sorry about the purse. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so sweet. It is more seeing myself in those horrible mirrors. Can't lie to yourself under those circumstances. :)

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