Monday, October 14, 2013

My Own Calorie Entitlement Culture

Twenty-three years ago I was giving birth. My son came in less than 4 hours. I spent most of that time, more than 3 hours, pushing his big head out of my not so wide hips. Yep I was fully dilated in less than one hour. And no it did not feel good. 

Luckily those hips of mine did spread (would not want to be one of those unfortunate women who get to go through labor and then have to have a c-section) to make room for his cranium, and to this day they have remained childbearing wide. I love it when women tell stories about how their bodies went back to pre-baby status; flat tummy, full breasts and teenage-like hips (without the help of a cosmetic surgeon too) and all within weeks yet. Its been over two decades and I am still waiting for that miracle to happen to me.

Honestly the entire labor thing was a little scary initially. Considering this was my first child I wasn't even quite sure what was going on at first, because instead of labor pains like they show on TV, which came and went, I was just one giant labor pain. I thought something was really really wrong. Luckily we decided to call the doctor who told me to go to the hospital and get checked. (He thought I was being overly dramatic and overwrought.) Needlesstosay the obstetrical intern put me right into a labor room once he figured out how far along I was effaced.

In the end of course I had this very cute sweet little baby-boy in my arms and well, the fear, pain and slight confusion disappeared. Until each year rolls around that is, and I decide that there is a rather good and moral reason for me to have that little extra piece of birthday cake. Heck it might be my son's birthday, but I'm the one that earned that extra piece of chocolate goodness on that day, and I am entitled to not have those calories count too.

Son's cake is blue with chocolate fudge filling.

Meanwhile upon leaving the hospital with my oldest, the nurse turned to me and mentioned that when I get pregnant with my second child, I should just check myself into the hospital. If my first birth was any indication of how efficient my body was, any subsequent children would come rather quickly.

Well son number two came in 90 minutes from start to finish. Luckily we lived six blocks from the hospital, car service came in fifteen minutes, and my sister, who was going to take care of the oldest one during the delivery, met the trio of us in the lobby of the hospital as we arrived. Good thing that someone even held one of the historically slow elevators for me in the lobby or baby number two would have been born on a visitor's couch instead of a delivery room gurney.

Reason number 2 for calorie entitlement culture day number 2.

P.S. The pieces really aren't that big......just big enough.


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