Friday, February 21, 2014

My Venti Mocha Latte adds to my Beauty Routine, While I deal with the Scourge of Perimenopause

I treat myself once or twice a month.

I go to the Starbucks across from the nail salon. Buy a venti mocha latte (soy, no whipped cream....lactose intolerant) and then go have a pedicure. It's my secret little vice. I don't usually go to Starbucks. I honestly find it obscene to spend over 5 dollars on a cup of coffee, and yes this from the woman who covets a $12,000 Hermes Birkin bag. But there is coffee and then there is my handbag obsession.

FYI- I also get a manicure and have my eyebrows, upperlip and chin
waxed. I do the entire beauty routine every three weeks or so depending on if there is a special occasion coming around the bend. Or whether I start really looking like I am growing a soul patch. No, I don't have a bikini wax, only because there really are some things a little too intimate for a total stranger to go near with hot wax. But hey that's just me.

Ostrich Birkin well over the $12,000 mark
Oh and if you think its odd to wax your lip and chin, just wait until you are perimenopausal and those estrogen hormones start to wane. (Never mind the hairs that grow out of your nose. It's not only men that have that problem.) Right now my body can't tell exactly whether its coming or going in the hormone department. For almost one year my periods were sprinkly little nothings, if my body happened to remember to have a period at all. Then this last month, holy hell, it was like Noah's flood from my uterus. Lets just say that Tampax isn't all that its cracked up to be and there are pajama pants in a garbage dump somewhere that look like they were part of a murder scene. And don't say I could have saved the PJs. Those that were salvageable were salvaged. Clorox 2 cannot solve every clothing mishap stain.

Meanwhile, My favorite part of the pedicure is that reflexology massage. Yes it costs a little extra, but hey I'm worth it. Of course, it also becomes addictive. Better that than pain pills. I could have that massage for hours and never leave the chair. But eventually I do have to return to reality and go about my business.

There is always someone to help and another chore that needs to get done.

But in the meantime, I sip my mocha latte, enjoy my massage, head to the lingerie store for new PJs  and pray pray pray for full menopause. Seriously, enough really is enough. At 53 its not like I'm going to want anymore babies and I can always take a calcium pill if I need to.


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